delerium

Argh, been down for the count my entire weekend (the last potential free 3-day-in-a-row one for the foreseeable future, as I'm nephew-sitting next week) with tonsillitis - which oddly, used to happen way more often; but in the last year or two, hadn't been much of an issue. However, I gave into the sunny weather and walked home the other night without a hat, and bam! Infection City. Nursing myself back to non-feverishness by drinking copious amounts of tea, water, and juice. A few glasses of kombucha, but until I'm sure the tonsils are no longer at risk, it's probably best not to be drinking live cultures. All sorts of expectorating (tmi? hah.) 3-Day Soup and Toast diet as well. Yay. Missed this week's wine tasting, which came one week after the last one (trying to get back on Fair's schedule, apparently) - and so I'm probably in the doghouse, but I had to not risk infecting everyone and making my health any worse too. Besides, last time was merlots, which i'm far too familiar with (but man we killed it on the food) and this week was sangiovese, which would have been fun, but not as interesting as other wines might have been.
Anyway. Change is on the horizon (I guess it always is, it's just sometimes you know when to expect it, and other times, it just slams into you, leaving your passenger-side mirror on the ground. yeah, that's a thing that happened last week as well....) - Dewie is leaving the 'zino, and after a pretty major paycheck fiasco, I'm actively looking. I don't want to jinx anything, but I scored an exciting interview (thus the .gif above) for a new gig at a new restaurant opening in June. Yeah, here I go again. But, this is the 4th for a group who have been really successful, and I've heard nothing but great things about the primary characters, so I'm meeting with the executive chef tomorrow before I go into work. Here's hoping it goes well - I need to grow, and it's not going to happen in a place so hobbled by poor management as 'zino currently is.
Additionally, the ex-smrge thing isn't so raw - it was just rough there for a bit, chef going on his honeymoon, dewie breaking up with his wife, Fair in a crazy mixed-use relationship, J planning his wedding, C&D in their usual battle dance, Cando breaking up with her 4-mos-uber-boyfriend, Xtina breaking off her engagement....and everyone, for whatever reason, thinking I, of all people have some sort of wisdom about relationships.
Hilarious. ok, so tune in to see where i land next. if anything, it means a new cast of characters, and a longer bus ride to work - and how great and entertaining will that be? BusBlogging here i come!!

battling

...a lot of bitterness about last year right now. I know it's pointless, and that's probably why I'm so aggravated - but dammit. I'm really having a major PTSD issue with my exhusband's bullshit from LAST YEAR. Ridiculous, I know, and I'm on my meds, so it shouldn't be this big a deal, but it just seems to keep coming up, because everyone seems to be asking me for couples advice and all I can think of is: DO NOT FALL FOR IT. IT IS A LIE,.NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT IT TO BE TRUE.
Which, admittedly, blows. Because I believed. Twice. And got left, twice. And then to have me fuck up a seemingly new loving relationship due to my own paranoia (OH, THANKS AGAIN, EXSMRGE) just makes shit worse. I'm so goddamn broken. Sad.

bionic heeler

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2315616/The-bionic-dog-Mixed-breed-Nakio-lost-paws-frostbite-finally-walk-fitted-prosthetic-limbs.html

paddling, just keep paddling

tastemakers

Our little wine group is turning into a great bi-weekly gathering of friends. Last night was the cab sauvignon round, and we had upped the ante - 6 bottles on the table, with a pretty solid spectrum of prices and locales (california, washington, france). It was also the first edition in NBG's new place, and the last before his fiancee arrives from Texas next week. Favorite Expo brought food, Fair brought wine and his new lady (who I had met several times already), I trundled in wine and a quick asian salad, plus some cheese, and BikeBuilder brought not only a bottle from his father's winery, but also a supermarket standby as well. There was guitar playing (both Expo and Bike play beautifully, flipping from spanish classical to Death Cab easily), cardgames (I must remember to bring the Sopio deck next time) and as always, a ton of laughter and genuine wine talk. It's nice to have a group of people to hang out with that isn't completely wound up in each other's business (though a few of us are from the restaurant) - and as always, eating and drinking around a table with  people is really one of the best ways to spend any evening.

Dinner with Justin @Bar Sajor. Great company (tea at my place after) and good, but not amazing, food. Ah well. Details to follow.

I don't quote Henry much, but when I do...

“It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too. You're nodding your head.”

― Henry Rollins, The Portable Henry Rollins

hocus-pocus holiday

“I don’t know any perfect people - only really really flawed people who are still worth loving.”

—

John Green In additional news, my first batch of kombucha is about ready to bottle, and I'm excited to see how much it ends up fizzing, plus trying to decide on if/what to flavor it beyond just the basic starter teas....need to buy more of the lemonade in the flip-top bottles so that I have enough containers. Also, must get another gallon-size jar. Yeah.

more help

saturday match results

....i haven't been the best Arsenal supporter this season - media impaired for the first half, personal drama midway through, coupled with some of the worst performances we've had even in the few short years I've been following. However, as per usual with us now, the pressure is on, we have dropped out of all other competitions, so apparently now the race is on to make it to 4th, to get into Champs League play again next season.
There's much to say about how sad that is, that it'd be nice to not have this Groundhog Day feeling every March (I'm dreading already the usual whining and forecasting that will only lead to one or more of our tenured players ((it's clear my personal favorite, Bac will be leaving in the summer)) abandoning us, and a herd of young, untried ((and, yeah, most likely French)) players to come in, and then we do the whole thing over again. Bah) but mostly, I'd just like to take a hot second and wish Theo a happy birthday, and enjoy the fact that we beat Swansea today, which I'm pretty sure many gooners weren't sure was going to happen. Nine more games for my bipolar footy boys, here's hoping we can make this run-in spectacular!

Inter...mission

Haven't been writing here much because I've been focusing on more doing - and gettting a good ass-kicking while Suse was in town definitely helped. We logged a lot of miles in two days, Pike Place Market & the Athenian for snacks and catching up, dinner at 'zino, visit to the Space Needle and riding the Monorail. Stops at art galleries, checked out the ECCC (comic con) a bit, had sushi at my favorite, Hana, strolled the Hill (a bit) visiting the Unicorn, Von Trapp (the Driver's new gig), Ba Bar (Fair's old place, where Brock treated us well), and then hiked to the ID, where I introduced her to the wonders of Uyajimaya, and then a Sounders evening in my 'hood, ducking in to the Merchant and the Collins. Too short but good times and plenty of plans for next time - most importantly a visit to the new restaurant on Occidental that hopefully Tiff's brother and I will get to in the coming week.
Oh, Tiff's brother. Such a delight. His last night as expo was yesterday and it was hard to see him go. As much as we are all stoked that he found a real (awesome) job, we will miss his wit and charm on that side of the pass. Yeah.
Tuesday in the next edition of the wine tasting, and I'm gonna head over early to help NBJ cook and make kumbocha (he says he's got a scobie ready for me; totally stoked) and then we are doing pinot gris (which will be good, as i rarely drink whites in general) with an all-star line-up: Me, Fair, Christina, Tiff's brother, Felix and NBJ. Gonna be a spirited (hah! see what i did there?) conversation, definitely.
Mostly though, what has been happening is that I'm not coming home drunk and spewing anger and frustration onto this blog. I am travelling lighter, being more present, taking better care of myself and am headed back in the direction I should be. Trying to change old habits is hard, but definitely worth it.

admission

I, after years of not even giving a rat's ass about the band he was in, much less his "LATER" solo career, have to admit to an affection for JT. Dude is funny, and on SNL, which a) isn't easy these days and b) wasn't easy to begin with....and he can and does sing and dance. In a really MJ way; the way that appeals to my mom and me, and probably, weirdly: to my oldest nephew. He's hot, funny, smart, ironic, sacrastic, laughs at himself and, ideally along with those who are his peers.Dammit. How did this happen? #JTispunkrock?

also...this.

you just never know what the Life is going to bring you - keeping my head up is hard work sometimes, but always, always, always worth it.

I meant it then, and i mean it now, listen.

Travelin' lighter...

seriously, this is for that guy, who came home to me.

Incoming

My buddy Suse is headed to town this weekend. It's also Emerald City Comic Con - ironically when I arranged to have my first weekend in 6 months off I had no idea it would be the same week I might actually get to go to a con. However, since I'm not sure Suse is into the geek think like I am, I suspect we'll be doing more food & hikey things...definitely Pike Place Market, Pioneer Square, and I think probably a trip out to West Seattle for Lincoln Park (she's an avid swimmer so I think she'd dig seeing the saltwater pool, as well as just the general awesome of West Seattle and Alkai)...but am still trying to figure out what to do in the 48 hours she's here. Certainly a visit to the 'zino as well, though brief (originally, i thought i wasn't going to get the Friday off, and so initially i was gonna try and pull a Bain and see if she'd want to trail/hangout/eat during my shift, but now it looks like we can just do a bit of a downtown stroll) as I don't want it to devolve into the usual Friday evening hijinks.
And, I think I will forego the usual drive to the airport and use the fancy LightRail that I voted for a decade a go, just for the hell of it - and even though it will add 45 minutes to the overall trip, it should be entertaining for Suse and I, since she is a BART veteran and I as always can't wait to see what the Masters Of Metro have created and called "light rail" oh, the trains that only go one place. Europeans have every right to laugh at us and our shitty ability to transport ourselves efficiently. However, the station is literally steps from my door, so it would be crazy not to take it. At least this once. I'll drive on Sunday, when parking is free at work and stuff.
Looking forward to seeing her though, and hoping the weather will be at least somewhat mellow. Might also meet up with the Driver for a drink on the Hill Saturday evening, which would be fun too. Anyway, exciting to have actual days off that others have as well - had to cancel today's dinner date with Tiff's brother because his new job finally kicked in, and now he will be trapped on the Eastside in that IT gig, so it's doubtful our schedules will collide again, except for the weekends he might still pick up at the restaurant.

Now more than ever.

I'm not kidding. This is electric, and real. This is what people are.
Also, she plays an SG: pure gold.

Flight

So, one of my favorite things about my apartment is the view; and though it isn't the spectacular Sound View that the other side of the building has, it is of a unique downtown skyscape that includes the Smith Tower, the Seattle Public Library,The Columbia Tower, the County Courthouse and Prefontaine Place, among others. It also allows for amazing seagull watching. I have, of late, become somewhat mesmerized by watching them fly, and more often, glide on the updrafts and wind currents that these buildings so close to the ocean provide.
It is Jonathan Livingston Seagull come to life - these birds genuinely appear to be enjoying flight, circling far above the ground, chasing each other, soaring low, then swooping up on an updraft without flapping a wing, merely tilting the edges up or down. Up on the 12th floor, it's high enough that i can watch them sweep over the park for tasty food dropped by harried court employees at lunch in City Hall Park (or the assortment on homeless locals), and I can watch them zip up to the upper rooftops of the bigger buildings, but what I find most entertaining is the leisurely soaring in long, lazy circles in the fading afternoon sunlight. Seagull TV, my new favorite show.
It also brings to mind the stories you'd read (not as often anymore it seems) of inner-city (NYC, mostly) residents who keep pigeons, homing pigeons, and the delight they felt from watching the birds fly through the city, experiencing a freedom within the concrete canyons that we can, as bipeds, only dream about. And, of course, more than ever, appreciate the beauty within the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull - to observe these birds in flight (not being the mangy french-fry beggars they can be at the waterfront) is to see animals doing what they are meant to do - and seemingly, like sea otters who seem to swim carefree and passionately, enjoying what they do. It is comforting to see nature reveal itself in that way, in such an urban setting, in my not-so-humble opinion.