Man. Sometimes I miss having the MostCrushworthyBoyInTheWorld in my life so much that it just burns. Sure part of that is the realization that I brought it on myself, and part of it it knowing that because he was attached and yet being MY pal, it was probalby destined to not turn out well. But goddamn that doesn't quell the ache in my heart, the missing that sarcastic, understanding, mutual-music-loving guy alot sometimes. He's married now, I'm married now. He doesn't play drums in a band (that I'm aware of) anymore, and may not even be in the city anymore (I'm too chicken to ask our mutual friends if my hunch is correct) and I'm not playing in a band anymore, and am miserable in that part. I miss meeting up with him for lunch. I miss the silly repartee that we'd engage in. I miss him making cool tapes for me and indulging my aging punk rock eccentricities. I miss going to Bumbershoot with him...I miss seeing that band play (they still play, and I keep saying I'll go, and then wimp out.) I dunno...I guess I just have no business listening to Old 97's or Wilco anymore at all. It fucking hurts. We used to laugh so much, we never, ever argued or had a bad moment, until the very last one. The I got sick, vanished, came back and things were different, and I didn't make good choices. All I can do now is remember the good parts fondly, yeah? And try not to let that sort of bullshit happen again. But I doubt I'll ever run accross someone like him again. I miss that friendship more than any other I've ever lost.
Drivel.