IF YOU STOP PLAYING HORRIBLE
ACOUSTIC VERSIONS OF MODERN TOP 40 HITS I WILL LITERALLY GIVE YOU ALL
THE MONEY I HAVE IN THE WORLD.
IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO ME.
PLEASE.
Current schedule at new awesome job: Friday, Saturday, and Wednesday off!! Do you know how amazing that will be if it is still in place when Arsenal season starts?? So great. I will be closer to some pub, somewhere, to watch the games as intended, with other Gooners. Also, still working on maybe seeing Chelsea play Sounders in July. Miss my bi-polar footy boys already, hope they all have a safe Euro 2012.
Yep. This. Minchin is my hero. Again.There is something so punk rock about the way he approaches the piano, and then the intelligence and wit....dreamy :)
Tonight, GMB asked me to specifically to give him some new dessert ideas. Gonna bust out the creme fraiche cheesecake (which will grate CG's chain no end, should he happen to make contact again or react to the inevitable post I will do to document the PNW debut of my signature dessert) and also do a modified version of Tuscan Cannoli, and that is just the start...gallettes follow, and ice creams are on it as well....but seriously? Cannot believe how perfect this will be, once I get used to being actually busy (3 pizzas on a ticket? plus calzone trio? fuck you, bar menu :)
It's hard to describe how different I feel being in a place I love (and I don't just mean the restaurant, I mean this town, mindless random shootings notwithstanding) doing what I love, what I'm genuinely passionate about. Both GMB and TheOtherMatt are great to work with, and seem like they will happily trade ideas and techniques. GMB was all stoked and eyes glittery when I told him I made my own graham crackers - and I was equally taken with learning to roll and cut ravioli on Tuesday. I love learning new stuff, and most especially food oriented new stuff.
There's been a wave of grief for some of my pals losing a parent; first Karen, then Smitty and now it appears Lia's father is not doing well, and has gone into hospice - it's interesting how you get these cycles, and as much as I hate to welcome any more members into the Dead Parent Club, it's actually kind of centering to have gone through the process already, and to have an understanding for what your friends might be feeling.
One the flip side of that, are other phases people go through (now that I seem to be well past the wedding and baby shower phases, whew) with a spike of people in my life now with 3 and 4 year olds, (GMB has one, the nephew, drl, Balto Rob, etc) and then an interesting wave of people who had kids back in the day when I could (should?) have, who are now graduating high school (smrge, Tory, etc). Circle of Life, and all that.
Hopefully, the words will come soon...
What's really weird, is how ok everything has been. It's like I was meant to be here. Even now, as I listen to old Detonators songs (holy crap, "When you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything" just, epically, rocks. No wonder I was so willing to drive that AstroVan to the end of the Earth for those guys) and I drive home from a 12 hour shift at a job I quite admittedly love, (how great is that, I'm pretty sure it hasn't felt like that since early days of Lantana) even though it is, very possibly, the most physically taxing I've ever had - but dammit, I love it when I hear tables go "wow"; even if it's not my dish - I love that I'm on the same damn team with people who also make people go "wow". I genuinely feel that, and want to always remember it, in case there comes a time when I can't remember that I made it through, that I'm ok with what happens as you work at love, when you go ahead and follow your heart even though sometimes the results aren't what you expect. I'm not going to stop loving, because it's worth it. The pain and the joy. It's all life is, really. Pain and joy. That in between nonsense? That is quite clearly limbo, and I don't want any part of it. Period. I will take each day as it happens. I will enjoy each moment that is given, and if the moments are painful, I will work to learn and move through it. So, then, this: Mom and I swung by Dad's gravesite on Saturday. I hadn't been in quite a while. It wasn't clear how long it had been until we got there, and I saw that the tree next to him that was just a sapling the last 2 times I'd been there was now a fucking serious, real, TREE. Yikes. There were all sorts of new housing tracts and development in the area, but to be honest, that hasn't really fazed me. But that fucking tree? Holy shit. Time and trees is serious business, and there is no greater indicator of time passing than the transformation of a little sapling into an actual tree. Yeah. Also, that 4 year old (well, he'll be 4 next month, so we might as well get used to saying it) is quite a wonder. He's taken a liking to the "Learn French" app on my i-phone. He and i play it together almost every day i see him. It's awesome; he crawls into my lap, and says "let's play the French game" and we proceed to play word games to learn french. awesome. then we play robot wars. or guns. or crazy8s...it's all quite good. The other nephews, who i don't see as much, are ok, though the oldest just nearly lopped off his right arm, and he wasn't even racing, he was dicking around with the starting gate at the track that he frequents and that his father (my brother) volunteers at - that's right, running the starting gate. I have this secret belief the #1 nephew is purposely injuring himself to remove himself from racing forever...though i know that's silly...still. Meanwhile, nephew #2: I went and was audience to him being part of his class chorus performance - apparently he was supposed to have a solo, but when the music teacher (and may I take a moment to mention how every music teacher I have ever known, right down to ms. cohee in 4th grade has been a total jerk? a complete egomaniac, and most of all, usually so prone to favoritism that even a nine year old knows when they are being slighted? Yeah. Not just one nine year old, as a matter of fact, but eight of us...but that's a story for another time ((actually probably only for a therapist TBD....)) was told that #2 would miss the evening performance because he had a race to attend, she pulled him completely from the two-show program, so no afternoon performance for his mom, aunts and grandma, and...well, she's really lucky I didn't follow her into the parking lot. Honestly, what a cow. Ok, that's a serious digression. What it does mean though, is that I'm happy to be part of the family again, and I very much dig my job, and the people I work with, I totally seem to have really found pretty much the most perfect fit I could imagine (though, again, small owners, no bennies, but at least they've been open for a few years now), and my friends are pretty damn cool too. Mostly though, I adore being in a city I know, that is familiar, and that I feel comfortable in - it's still quite hard to describe, as it's not a Pollyanna "Yay! Seattle Is Awesome!!" thing, but in a much more "ah, yeah, I know what that is, I know who they are, I know how this works" kind of thing.
Random neighborhood shootings aside though. Not sure what is with all the white anger, but i see it in traffic, in parking lots, in grocery stores....it's odd when I come off sounding like the hippie telling people to relax. Also: misfired pizza and copper river salmon for dinner to take home, after a lovely chat over our shift drinks with the sous chef and a server who is in the running for Daniel's crown? Awesome. So Happy. I can't even remember having so many ducks in a row...next up: find a new, great place to live.
