rarely does a movie suck even more than the reviews say it does...but holymotherofkevinseconds does Episode 2 blow. Now, granted, i had read enough (and heard) that it wasn't all that, so we didn't even bother getting the "YoDaMan"-hawked DVD edition to watch...but i seriously doubt it would have helped to have 6 hours of explanation of all the effects that were attempted in order to compensate for a script that just flat out blew. And bring back the muppets, the cgi-actor thing (enough with the damn JarJar!! Enough I beg of you George!) is tedious. I miss Yoda looking like a throw pillow, though it was pretty fun watching him duel Sauraman (ooh, sorry). Meanwhile, I know Natalie Portman is a better actress, as is Sam Jackson, so I'm gonna assume all the other actors are good too, and they were being forced at paycheck-point to read their lines like it was a 4th grade play. Yes, yes, I realize and try to keep in mind that the whole series is based on 50's matinee movie serials, so it's all supposed to be very melodamatic, but come on. The stiffness was unbearable. Few things in this world make me wish for the return of Mark Hamill to the screen, or wax nostalgic about the witty repartee between Harrison and Carrie, but damn, no amount of clones or explosions (the best part, and unfortunately shortest and last part) can save this "saga". I mean, if Anikin (god i hope i'm spelling that wrong) is gonna be EVIL, then lets see some slaughter!! I hate to state the obvious, but I quite enjoyed all the violence in LOTR, and in the extended version, among other wonderful (WONDERFUL!) scenes was a bit more gore. There should be more blood (or at least some more severed limbs and exploding entrails) in the Star Wars thing. Though obviously that would screw up Lucas' plan to reduce his epic into a kiddie show. Finally (ahem) the ending: flat out bad. I haven't NOT wanted to see a sequel since....since episode 1 actually. I mean, we all know how it goes from here,. so what, you wanna see Natalie (if they pull it off, has it started filming yet? is it written?) pregnant? eeewwww.

aww, shay...oasis...heh. what two things could be more evocative of each other?
moving soon. a good thing, but i'll miss the view, the park and the smell of the ocean on foggy mornings.