take me back to paradise city

This was unearthed a bit ago, and is probably Agent86, during my tenure ('cause, you know, they're still alive & kicking in Vegas) at it's peak, sound-wise (ok, there was the incarnation with Flame & SMRGE; but all the bile that remembering them brings now makes it hard to look fondly on, but it was a blazing 4-piece line-up). Billy on drums, the king of the double-kick pedal. Though, by the looks of me, I was well into living my glam-punk-rawk ethos full throttle. That is to say, hammered beyond belief, the start of a mighty long hangover...Hard to watch me barely moving onstage, no wonder the Riot Girls got so pissy with me. Anyway, I offer this little glimpse into my black heart; and also: look. at. that. hair.

xoxo.

“It’s not your life, it’s life. Life is bigger than you. Life isn’t something that you possess, it’s something that you take part in and you witness.”
- Louis C.K.

bright light/update

Summer seems to have arrived early - clear blue skies, pushing 70 degrees - my city shines on these days - mindless building and road demolishing notwithstanding. The rollercoaster has been doing some swoopy, spinny, jerky things of late - almost all restaurant related (because it is the center of my world at this point). Time with the nephews was lovely, but coming back to find another crew member had bailed was disappointing, and also means that we have been doing the training-in dance for well over two weeks now. It hasn't been going as well as previous times. Though I did bring in my old pal Smitty, and that's been fun, but he's neither permanent, nor a lifer like me. But, it's a nice breath of fresh air for a bit. Meanwhile. I did bail on the stage at the fancy new place. To be honest, I'm just not in the right frame of mind to tackle a postion like that again - opening a high-visibility restaurant with a name chef: more than I can stomach. Thus, I'm all-in at the 'zino, though i did have an interesting chat with a headhunter (hadn't heard that term since my dad died) about potential jobs, and now I'm on his list, so who knows? Anyway, just trying to keep an even keel and get stuff done. Romance has been snuffed out a couple of times now, and I'm ok with it. The path of least resistance and all that. Miss the Stray though, especially on the warm nights walking home. But, y'know, it's typical. It's my normal now.
Hibiscus and orange sorbet and a cookie tonight - still deciding on the cookie. Did apple crostadas (some amazing honeycrisp still coming in - go Washington!) with pecans and Pt. Reyes Blue - a bit poncy, but fun to offer a little rif on apple pie with cheddar cheese. Sold a few. Yeah.
Also, many kudos for the food lately - CM and I are on target, and as I start picking up more of the saute stuff, things will be better too. Had a guy come to the pass to tell us the octopus was the best he'd ever had (he was from Italy, he and his wife) and it turned out it was one of the tickets I fired. Stoked! Yeah. As trying as things get, and as lonely as it can be being me sometimes, I am still very happy that I chose to do what I love for a living. Reading entries I wrote this time last year has actually been really helpful in reminding myself how resilient I am, and that strength carries me through to the next little bit of awesome that is around the corner....somewhere.