i've dug him ever since we pulled up by the side of the road outside of Rome and picked him up to begin our first european tour. back then, he was just a cute, foreign punk rock boy who liked my band enough to book us shows. who knew within 10 days he would have proven himself such and arrogant bastard that i was deriving glee from hocking green loogies (loogies? is that a word? and if it is, did i really just use it? yikes.) at the back of his long, lanky pant leg as he strolled ahead of me down the streets of Postonja. Yeah. Although we parted not so happy that first tour, it wasn't so bad apparently - he booked us a 2nd tour 10 months later, and that's when it got worse.
Though it started off well - me making nice, being pleasant, thinking that this time, I was gonna make him realize how rad i was. Besides, I was so pissed off and tired after the month spent with the Norwegians that I was thrilled to be around someone I knew.
Wow - suddenly i remember Marc, and that first stay with him at Crazy Pierre's. Ah, crazy Pierre, who literally was "postal". Those were the days...
Anyway, I bring up the long-legged freak because his lack of email response has once again bummed me out.
I'm really, really not in a good place right now. I keep doing nice things for him, and he blows it off.
Am I that - what?
I thought we were friends, but obviously i think more of our friendship than he does....and it depresses me to no end. We built this friendship back up, and he used to confide in me and now it's totally bland, and it bums me out. The email thing always pisses me off. And i shouldn't let it, i know.

So yeah, it's friday, and i'm trying to keep in the writing habit, hoping that it will settle in again...anyway, here are five that are a little uncomfortable...
. What is one thing you don't like about your body?
Ah, see, it used to be my stomach, or even my lack of cleavage, but now, in my mid-thirties, it's my back. It bums me out in a myriad of ways...

2. What are two things you love about your body?
Right, well my big brown eyes, even with their big ol' circles under them...and my legs. Strong, and muscular, they aren't at their peak at the moment, but they're still worthy of admiration.

3. What are three things you want to change about your home?
I would like to be in our own house, bigger, with a basement to practice in.

4. What are four books you want to read this year?
Ack. I want to read Steve Martin's other book(s), I'd like to get ahold of The Making of a Chef, and finish the Cometbus Omnibus. If it wasn't so big, I'd bring it on the bus.

5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?
Five? Crap. I haven't been very good at that lately - though one crucial promise i made involving tolerence i've been practicing pretty well. that's good.

ten years is such a long time; and yet, it's not. there are things from 15 years ago that i can remember perfectly, and then whole years seem to have vanished in the last decade. last two decades. hell, i've been back in seattle 10 years now. what the hell am i thinking? i'm way past my pull date...
now the time i spent in dc is more than ten years ago. no wonder i can't remember it. i might as well be trying to remember what happened in 7th grade. agh. it's not that i'm trying to remember, it's just that it seems like so little has happened in the last 10 years. even thought that's not really very true. it's just...not stuff i can talk about easily, because it seems like it's just been one big long 10-year slap upside the head. not that i didn't need a good solid downward spiral to get me wised-up and to figure crap out...but still.
man. 10 x 365. i should be skinnier by now. i was there for about a year. what happened to that? sad.