Last night.

Post-getting my ass kicked at work on an insanely busy friday that had me going until past midnight, constantly...i find myself curling up with Radiohead, missing my stray something fierce.

one more chorus...

So many feels right now, and kind of trying to sort them...another few days of adventure, danger, romance and lust. Couple of after-work nights with  The Stray and Dewey, the second of which saw  The Stray and I returning to the scene of our previous antics, and me getting worked hard on the dining room floor of the restaurant. Am sooo frigging sore, all over. Probably stepped over the line last night by going in on our night off and him being so drunk. He's there now, working, and is without a phone...anyway. Lots of emo last night too, but good action, good after, and the cuddling to radiohead melts me. dammit. i seriously don't know where this train is going, but he also was a little squirrelly asking how many blogs i'd written about him, etc. It's there if he wants to read it, and it's nothing i haven't really already said to him. It's just all about context and references, but ultimately I write for myself.
oh, and tuesday he slept through C and I painting the apartment. Best moment, C turning to me and saying "Just out of curiosity, how long does he sleep for" (this at about 4pm) and I told him "I honestly don't know, I usually roust him at 2, but today is sort of an experiment."
He got up at about 5 when C was almost done and had bought beer...just for the record.  The Stray is without mobile communication tool, so i hope he found a way home tonight - . Or, he'll find a place to crash via Hula. But the first seems most obvious...unless he finds his housemate...(or mom?) dunno. I should defo not be thinking about this tho...

walk it off...

...yeah, so, me having feelings is a real pain. Let loose some emo last night that i shouldn't have, successfully destroying what was left of that thing we were doing....I can be a real jerk. Feel like I can't even apologize because that just makes it more of an issue. I knew I shouldn't get attached to it, that it was a comet, something that only happens once in a while and doesn't last long...but I let myself feel anyway, and all it does is end up feeling empty, hurt, and ultimately me completely incapable of having normal human interactions.

Affirmation: The past is beautiful. And mostly a lie.