Affirmation: I am good.

for your ears...

sounds great at night, staring at the skyline. helps. heal. wounds:
alabama shakes at the Newport Folk Festival
Eight more flavors of awesome. Things change. Hold on.

Sometimes all it takes is a glimpse of something in the right place at an unexpected moment. This time, it was a mail truck coming out of a street onto Highway 9, which I had mistakenly decided to use as "the scenic route" today - and all of the sudden, in this area I grew up in, on the roads with no sidewalks (much less shoulders) with greenery that grows to your waist in all directions, even at the height of summer, during a day where there were thunderstorms while the sun shone I was hit with this intense feeling of nostalgia. Nostalgia for waiting for the mail to arrive.
It's weird, as I think about it, how important the mail has been in my life. When I first moved to Seattle from southern California with my family, I wrote letters to my best friend every week. I journaled incessently, and subscribed to Rolling Stone and Creem. Even when I was younger, and we moved from the suburbs to the ranch community in the hills outside of LA, I had a subscription to Tiger Beat and also Dynamite magazines, that I waited on with such anticipation. I read them over and over, memorizing all the latest news and cultural ephemera. When I began writing letters regularly, in junior high, I realized that much communication among punks and creative types was happening via letters and fanzines: which could be as simple as copied sheets of paper with photos taped on, loosely modeled on the newspaper layout I was learning in school in both junior and senior high schools (yes, AV and Paper Staff Photog nerd, that was my gig). I started responding to ads for pen pals in zines and magazines like Star Hits (yes...the '80s were a magical time of foppish brit-teen mags and skater 8x11's folded in half with one staple in the center). I lived for the mail to arrive, letters from friends, magazine transmissions that would link me to what was happening in music and politics, and even ordering things like records, sunglasses, everything I could. Every day I expected something, and knew what time (generally) the mail would come...in the summer, waiting patiently, tiptoeing in bare feel through the carport to see if the flag was down on the mail box yet (because usually I was sending something out into the world as well). I had a small thrill early in the days of MTV when I actually won a free xmas button bearing the simple M on a green background with the candy-cane "tv" logo - it was a prized badge that I wore constantly...until I gave it to a boy I liked, setting a tone for my romantic endeavors that still rings true to this day. Hey, Ty Moe, if yr out there, I want my badge back!
Anyway, as I drove I thought about how I don't look forward to mail much anymore - generally the only mail I'm happy to receive involves some sort of monetary exchange...I do love sending packages and letters though. I sent an awesome Valentine's package this year. Not that it mattered in the long run, but it was so fun to put together, and brought back that thrill of wanting to surprise someone special. Dawn, who I'll be seeing in a couple days, and I spent years sending packages and flyers and odd cards and found objects to each other. Darell and I would exchange multi-page letters every week - I remember vividly getting stressed if more days than normal passed before something arrived: was it lost? Being in a band, we booked whole tours, and did the bulk of promotion and communication via the mail. Interviews. Selling records, all of it.
I dunno where to go with this right at the moment, but I just had this intense feeling of pity for people who haven't known the joy of expecting mail. Of communication in that way, the lovely excitement of holding something in your hands that someone wrote, to you. Of their feelings on paper, to be read, and re-read. Art and trinkets to be shared, displayed, treasured. In this age of amazing technology, I miss the rush of expecting mail, of having something to look forward to...yeah. More soon maybe. I just will miss the USPS when it's gone. It's amazing that you can put a piece of cardboard that you've written a message to someone on into a box, and that it will travel around the world. Amazing. That sort of communication, that sort of connection seems archaic, I know, but it also seems so much more...what? Genuine? Not that I don't love the speed and ease of the internet and cellphones, etc, and am glad for the people it's brought back into my life...it also has taken some of the mystery away as well, some of the romance of sharing bits of yourself over time and growing close....its not better, its just different, and like so many things will merely be something I remember from my early life just like my parents remember when radios started becoming replaced by televisions. Only way, way faster.

Luckily, I have plenty of Supernatural to get through before this happens. Also, K2 coming in October! The hits just keep coming!

same as the first time....

“Growing up, you make all sorts of rules and morals for yourself that are based on arbitrary concepts and assumptions, but not on real experience. All these rigid ideas about how to live, the way relationships should be, the way the world works. Especially when you grow up punk. Then experience comes along to make mincemeat out of your morals. Everything does not fit into your pre-packaged plan. Everything you rallied and preached against now seems sort of warm and cuddly.”

—

From Cometbus #41 (1997)

can't help it; makes smiles.

THE SUBLIME BEAUTY OF THE NATURAL WORLD IS FUCKING OBNOXIOUS.

via

daily events prompt no response from populace....still.

current feels

i see london...

I'm not a big fan of the Olympics, as it seems very forced and farcical given the hostilities around the world and the fact that for two weeks everyone pretends to get along, for the sake of sports (?) - though it does provide some diversion and of course this year i recognize some of the soccer players in all the different national team's names, but sorting through the ephemera of news-y stuff, i found this (2nd of two parts) bit of video about the bell built for the opening ceremonies, which is the largest harmonically tuned bell ever built...pretty frigging cool:

So, in the industry, it's known as "in the weeds"; for me, it was wigging out, full-on, channeling some serious evil CG mojo, because every time GMB joked about not burning a pizza...i inevitably did. And then, I swear he was calling tickets willy nilly and changing his mind, but you can't challenge a chef mid-service, so i just put my head down and plowed through. Horrible, horrendous night. I have grown to really hate Thursdays following He Who Is Supposed To Be Fired. Yeah. I was behind the 8-ball to start with, and it just got worse when GMB got pissy. Anyway, the beauty is that eventually, I get to close the station, have my beer and shot, commisserate with Nathalie, (and, it turns out, Xavier, who chatted a bit about Ashley which was funny and nice, and the back rub was appreciated as well :) and then going home listening to KEXP, where they were playing "In A Big Country", which made me smile like crazy. Goddamn, I love this town.

Not that I was a huge Big Country fan or anything, but that song is so evocative of my formative years in this town, and having been in contact with the OK Hotel about renting a place there, and telling them how much living there would mean to me...I dunno, I just couldn't stop smiling, all the way home. What a fun song. 4 minutes home, how great is that? And soon, no more driving...I hope. Unless the buses are really sketchy. Gonna try it out next week, but I needed to be in early today. So. Yeah. That.

 

weds night meet up

with charles and lia, sushi, new spot on the Hill that I wasn't stoked about. Meh. Back to Ha Na for me. Strolled around though, such a beautiful night, the three musketeers back in business, stopped at the new place that sells premade local stuff and has a big grass cow in front (photo ops! sent immediately to SF!) and as we were walking back we ran into Todd and Fisher, so that was nice too - catching up and laughing.
More later, certainly. Bummed I just found out about Ok Hotel being available to live in now...but maybe next year or something...we'll see, though i'd really not have to move again for a while.

and this.

Ok, so I had to get blindingly drunk, crash at Sous Matt's house, and drive home this afternoon to find my recipe book lying on the floorboard of my car, behind the passenger seat. WTF, Universe? I tore that car apart (or thought I did) a week ago, and then, when I finally behave in a (somewhat moderately) responsible behavior (for a change) - it comes back to me.
I'll take it. Horrendously hungover though it is my day off....yeah.

blogging is for this.

WHAT ARE YOU? ARE YOU COFFEE?

DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU’RE NOT COFFEE.

NO, I MEAN IT. GO BECOME COFFEE OR FUCK OFF.

(animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com)

in another example of the universe having a go at me, i seem to have lost my notebook - the one that has 8 years worth of recipes, ideas and notes in it. The closest thing i have to a bible. I wasn't even drunk. I merely put too much stuff in my poorly-packed bag and apparently it fell out either between the restaurant and the car (literally, 500 feet) or the car and the apartment (about 1/4 of a block). I am heartbroken. Luckily, it's not only a feeling I am familiar with but also one i have tools to deal with now.
The Chelsea match was fun - I wore my Arsenal kit (I saw 3 others in Arsenal gear, one Liverpool kit, and several Barca shirts among the SEA of Chelsea kits, which was shocking) and was told "You are really brave!" and then a couple of high-fives (the anti-chelsea contingent!) and a couple of guys in the beer garden even gave me a "C'mon Arsenal" (which, while it sounds like a dig, is actually a chant we do when we are down or on the backfoot mid-match) which totally made me smile. The sis-in-laws friends were nice and the seats were great. It really, really, really makes me pine to see my Gunners live - you really can see everything, and hear them too.
Met up with Charles pre-match, and got in trouble with his *wife* who told us to "go play outside" the store, since we were just hanging out in the back area chatting while Charles painted the walls and did his magic genie remodel thing.

After the game, headed to West Seattle for movie night. Tried to watch a Liam Nieeson movie, but ended up  with the Winchester boys in the background, after i got a scolding for watching episodes out of order (can't mess with the canon, I should know that as a Whovian:). He also told me about a show he's (finally) playing in Stanwood, showed me his new bike (not a euphanism) and of course, videos of the kid and the usual etc.

annnnnd....

Rob, Boy DC Drummer is going to visit in September!!! Stoked! He and I got along really well, and he hung in through the toughest times; did the full US Tour and the 2nd Eurodisastour with the Norwegians, so when we got in touch a year or two ago, we spent an easy 3 hours on the phone the next day. He brews beer for a living now, and is coming to Washington to go to a hops festival in Yakima, which is cool. Holy crap, this is amazing. My life is unfolding in ways I hadn't imagined. I thought all these people were lost to the mists of time! Plus, my new pals like me too! People love the food I make. Had a woman make a point of coming to my station to compliment the calzones. And bought me a glass of wine. Totally awesome. i get lots of dessert kudos, but that was particularly fun one being for savory stuff, and  because of the rep the calzones have, especially between Candance (my favorite of our bartenders) and I...we got caught snickering, but saved the situation, and turned it into a free drink for me, and a great tip for her. GO GirlPower! Yeah, and she and I had a spirited conversation (about boys, of course) tonight after closing. I work with some awesome folks this time around. Happy. 3 days to new digs. YES. But tomorrow: Chelsea vs. Sounders. Woot!

Mom and brother had a great time, loved their food (halibut with beans and gnocci for her, buccatini for him plus antipasti, the roasted green beans, duck pizza and dessert sampler), sat at my station, and it was awesome, until we got hit hard and then I had to focus. But still, so great to make people I love feel good.All the servers were awesome ("Your family is so nice!" was the consensus) to them (they had a rough night otherwise) and yeah, I picked a good place to work. So stoked. Sous Matt was so sweet and complimentary when he spoke to them, and I even introduced them to Claudio, the backbone who makes our pasta, cheese and crackers, and does the dishes, yet rarely gets any kudos. It was fun.
Also, got the request to come to West Seattle, but ultimately, the wear and tear of the WestSeattleFest kept us on the down-low, but it's ok. There are plenty of episodes to watch :)
(Tomorrow is actually better for me anyway).

Never get tired of homes with these lying in wait....can't see the headstock that has an odd tuning key because apparently this special issue model is especially hard to replace parts for...nonetheless, pretty lovely, and chicks dig scars :)
Also, looking forward to service tonight - Mom and Scott are headed down to the restaurant - can't wait for them to see my new digs....as they were also visitors to Lantana as well (though not together, which was pretty cool too) so they have some context. The big leap will be when Mark & Co show up, as I trust he will hit it off with Mike The Owner like crazy, but tonight is for the A Team!

working on it

Happy birthday Woody, and thanks.

Also, am oddly in the midst of a Supernatural binge...which is convenient and was instigated by movie night at SG's. So geeky, but also scary, and I generally don't go in for that sort of stuff (the scary/spooky stuff, I think my geek quotient is well documented), but it's so well written...and seven seasons to plow through! Excellent reason to restart the Netflix sub....it's always interesting the shows that end up being codas to certain phases of transition. Demon purging and moving to downtown Seattle, delightful!

good point

"Daily affirmation: Be positive, not delusional." - Jon Armstrong (Blurbomat)

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