So, in the industry, it's known as "in the weeds"; for me, it was wigging out, full-on, channeling some serious evil CG mojo, because every time GMB joked about not burning a pizza...i inevitably did. And then, I swear he was calling tickets willy nilly and changing his mind, but you can't challenge a chef mid-service, so i just put my head down and plowed through. Horrible, horrendous night. I have grown to really hate Thursdays following He Who Is Supposed To Be Fired. Yeah. I was behind the 8-ball to start with, and it just got worse when GMB got pissy. Anyway, the beauty is that eventually, I get to close the station, have my beer and shot, commisserate with Nathalie, (and, it turns out, Xavier, who chatted a bit about Ashley which was funny and nice, and the back rub was appreciated as well :) and then going home listening to KEXP, where they were playing "In A Big Country", which made me smile like crazy. Goddamn, I love this town.

Not that I was a huge Big Country fan or anything, but that song is so evocative of my formative years in this town, and having been in contact with the OK Hotel about renting a place there, and telling them how much living there would mean to me...I dunno, I just couldn't stop smiling, all the way home. What a fun song. 4 minutes home, how great is that? And soon, no more driving...I hope. Unless the buses are really sketchy. Gonna try it out next week, but I needed to be in early today. So. Yeah. That.

 

weds night meet up

with charles and lia, sushi, new spot on the Hill that I wasn't stoked about. Meh. Back to Ha Na for me. Strolled around though, such a beautiful night, the three musketeers back in business, stopped at the new place that sells premade local stuff and has a big grass cow in front (photo ops! sent immediately to SF!) and as we were walking back we ran into Todd and Fisher, so that was nice too - catching up and laughing.
More later, certainly. Bummed I just found out about Ok Hotel being available to live in now...but maybe next year or something...we'll see, though i'd really not have to move again for a while.

and this.

Ok, so I had to get blindingly drunk, crash at Sous Matt's house, and drive home this afternoon to find my recipe book lying on the floorboard of my car, behind the passenger seat. WTF, Universe? I tore that car apart (or thought I did) a week ago, and then, when I finally behave in a (somewhat moderately) responsible behavior (for a change) - it comes back to me.
I'll take it. Horrendously hungover though it is my day off....yeah.

blogging is for this.

WHAT ARE YOU? ARE YOU COFFEE?

DON’T TALK TO ME IF YOU’RE NOT COFFEE.

NO, I MEAN IT. GO BECOME COFFEE OR FUCK OFF.

(animalstalkinginallcaps.tumblr.com)

in another example of the universe having a go at me, i seem to have lost my notebook - the one that has 8 years worth of recipes, ideas and notes in it. The closest thing i have to a bible. I wasn't even drunk. I merely put too much stuff in my poorly-packed bag and apparently it fell out either between the restaurant and the car (literally, 500 feet) or the car and the apartment (about 1/4 of a block). I am heartbroken. Luckily, it's not only a feeling I am familiar with but also one i have tools to deal with now.
The Chelsea match was fun - I wore my Arsenal kit (I saw 3 others in Arsenal gear, one Liverpool kit, and several Barca shirts among the SEA of Chelsea kits, which was shocking) and was told "You are really brave!" and then a couple of high-fives (the anti-chelsea contingent!) and a couple of guys in the beer garden even gave me a "C'mon Arsenal" (which, while it sounds like a dig, is actually a chant we do when we are down or on the backfoot mid-match) which totally made me smile. The sis-in-laws friends were nice and the seats were great. It really, really, really makes me pine to see my Gunners live - you really can see everything, and hear them too.
Met up with Charles pre-match, and got in trouble with his *wife* who told us to "go play outside" the store, since we were just hanging out in the back area chatting while Charles painted the walls and did his magic genie remodel thing.

After the game, headed to West Seattle for movie night. Tried to watch a Liam Nieeson movie, but ended up  with the Winchester boys in the background, after i got a scolding for watching episodes out of order (can't mess with the canon, I should know that as a Whovian:). He also told me about a show he's (finally) playing in Stanwood, showed me his new bike (not a euphanism) and of course, videos of the kid and the usual etc.

annnnnd....

Rob, Boy DC Drummer is going to visit in September!!! Stoked! He and I got along really well, and he hung in through the toughest times; did the full US Tour and the 2nd Eurodisastour with the Norwegians, so when we got in touch a year or two ago, we spent an easy 3 hours on the phone the next day. He brews beer for a living now, and is coming to Washington to go to a hops festival in Yakima, which is cool. Holy crap, this is amazing. My life is unfolding in ways I hadn't imagined. I thought all these people were lost to the mists of time! Plus, my new pals like me too! People love the food I make. Had a woman make a point of coming to my station to compliment the calzones. And bought me a glass of wine. Totally awesome. i get lots of dessert kudos, but that was particularly fun one being for savory stuff, and  because of the rep the calzones have, especially between Candance (my favorite of our bartenders) and I...we got caught snickering, but saved the situation, and turned it into a free drink for me, and a great tip for her. GO GirlPower! Yeah, and she and I had a spirited conversation (about boys, of course) tonight after closing. I work with some awesome folks this time around. Happy. 3 days to new digs. YES. But tomorrow: Chelsea vs. Sounders. Woot!

Mom and brother had a great time, loved their food (halibut with beans and gnocci for her, buccatini for him plus antipasti, the roasted green beans, duck pizza and dessert sampler), sat at my station, and it was awesome, until we got hit hard and then I had to focus. But still, so great to make people I love feel good.All the servers were awesome ("Your family is so nice!" was the consensus) to them (they had a rough night otherwise) and yeah, I picked a good place to work. So stoked. Sous Matt was so sweet and complimentary when he spoke to them, and I even introduced them to Claudio, the backbone who makes our pasta, cheese and crackers, and does the dishes, yet rarely gets any kudos. It was fun.
Also, got the request to come to West Seattle, but ultimately, the wear and tear of the WestSeattleFest kept us on the down-low, but it's ok. There are plenty of episodes to watch :)
(Tomorrow is actually better for me anyway).

Never get tired of homes with these lying in wait....can't see the headstock that has an odd tuning key because apparently this special issue model is especially hard to replace parts for...nonetheless, pretty lovely, and chicks dig scars :)
Also, looking forward to service tonight - Mom and Scott are headed down to the restaurant - can't wait for them to see my new digs....as they were also visitors to Lantana as well (though not together, which was pretty cool too) so they have some context. The big leap will be when Mark & Co show up, as I trust he will hit it off with Mike The Owner like crazy, but tonight is for the A Team!

working on it

Happy birthday Woody, and thanks.

Also, am oddly in the midst of a Supernatural binge...which is convenient and was instigated by movie night at SG's. So geeky, but also scary, and I generally don't go in for that sort of stuff (the scary/spooky stuff, I think my geek quotient is well documented), but it's so well written...and seven seasons to plow through! Excellent reason to restart the Netflix sub....it's always interesting the shows that end up being codas to certain phases of transition. Demon purging and moving to downtown Seattle, delightful!

good point

"Daily affirmation: Be positive, not delusional." - Jon Armstrong (Blurbomat)

.

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm - WINSTON CHURCHILL

Finally, words to live by.

yup.

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut

2008 les paul, sunburst...and the acoustic...both sitting in the living room. He played them both, and right then, shivers down my spine that lasted all night....
So geeky, so musical, so...yeah. Fun. Am having fun...still hard to process sometimes, but I'm working on it. Heh, I can call him SG. Perfect.

Huh. So SingerGuy (and for the record, he's a guitar guy too, but to differentiate, he is a most talented vocal/lyracist as well) might be A Thing. After 15 fucking years. Go figure. Or maybe I just needed to see the forest for the trees. Or, moreover, get over being so scared. I pulled the trigger, and may have hit a bullseye that I didn't even think was in my range! Go me!

I find the ability people have to switch on and off their emotions phenomenal. I am envious of those who can switch gears so easily, to use the word "love" so easily, to let another's feelings mean nothing to them so easily. What must it be like to go though life telling people you love them, and then, so easily, telling another that you love them, as well? To have people fall at your feet, to think that you are so witty, and wise? What must that be like? Because, me? I don't and will never, understand being told that I am loved and then, told that I am not. For no reason of my own doing. Nothing I can work on, nothing I can fix.

Dog sitting for GMB, and it's a groovy house, good dogs, and an object lesson in looking behind the curtain. Kitchen is a shocking disaster, and when I have ever been fearful of my own tidiness - I actually am not nearly the slacker I think I am. Also confirmed Dawn's visit in August - which is really exciting - it has literally been 15 years since I've seen her...plus it's my birthday weekend, and I'll be in my new digs, so it's all very groovy, as Karen would say. Hanging out tonight - enjoying the wonders of satellite tv again, a cool little house that reminds me a bit of one we stayed at in Denmark with the steep staircase and oddly located loo off the kitchen :) Chinese food delivered, dogs dozing, made call to confirm meetup with new arsenal pals tomorrow to watch euro final before work....so not a bad Saturday, all in all. Tomorrow, running the pbj roulade again, lemon-basil sorbet, chai ice cream and pink peppercorn-cherry ice creams. Not sure about daily pie - we'll see what veg is left when I get in...also, gonna take a break from the liquor for a bit...just to kind of kick my metabolism up a notch...been making steady progress, but I know just cutting out that will kill an easy 10lbs in a week...

Woohoo! deep in the heart of Douchebagland tonight! but kind of cool, in that i'm pretty sure i cemented my connection with owner Michael tonight, so there's that (because BarMat and his ridiculous girl who thought it was funny to laugh at me, got fucking OWNED; and I went after hours with them, which is odd, but hot guy with dreads giving me the "Yikes! Good luck with THAT" signal was fun).
I made their pizzas. it's what it comes down to.
love this job. this town has it's pros and cons, but ultimately, is full of people I love, so: I love it. I love every opportunity to engage. I like them. AndI have no need to broadcast my world (other than maybe the occasional Arsenal thing, or menu thing) to anyone else. Documenting for myself is what i have always done, and will continue to do. If you dig me, cool. If you don't: your loss. Seriously. YOUR LOSS. again. I'm not playing around. This is my life, and I am midway through it.. I know what I love, and what I will fight for. I am worth it. As SingerGuy said: "so totally worth all the wait".
As GMB said: "You are: smart, funny and so talented: he's an idiot."
Yeah. i know I'm not gorgeous, but ultimately, we all age, we all become not beautiful, so in the end, if you are awesome, isn't that enough? Sometimes, people tell you that it is, but their actions speak otherwise. So,  you know, go with your gut.If it says yes, try. If it doesn't work - try something else. Keep trying on shoes until you find one that fits. But stop trying to shove bullshit on your feet that clearly DO NOT FIT.
Also, I'm pretty sure our bucatini is the only pasta i want to eat: EVER. Holy shit: Italy.

Spent the evening with Charles last night - so very lovely to see him, even though his partner behaved like a ridiculous, spoiled, jealous 14-year old. It was so good to be with my best pal again. When we were young and goofy we made a promise to each other that we were each other's get out of jail free card. It was as if the ensuing 15 years was just a blip. It was so fantastic...and enlightening, and oddly, in the end empowering. We have a history now, have discovered so much about ourselves, to be able to spend time in his presence again is awesome. Also, strolling around his hood, looking for my lost phone (which we found where I made a quick pit stop) just talking, so easy so natural. I have so much love for my big bearded, insanely talented pal. His quick sweet kiss goodnight, totally unexpected and delightful,  floored me. So much to think about. Need to find a place to live in the city, because there is so much living to do, friends to support and help as they have helped me. Now, a nap before work.