Hanging tenuously here with the whole "writing" and "updating" thing. trying to make it a habit, but times are a bit rough at the moment. hopefully this too shall pass. Unitl then, the pseudobio contiues with the Friday Five:

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
"Let's talk about sex" by Salt & Pepa. It reminds me of a lot of insanestuff, but most of all, it reminds me of Europe, where it was the only song in English we ever heard on the radio. I dug the Teenage Mutant Nija themesong then too - but it was "Torta Ninja" there.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
Wow, i don't think...oh, well, there is one: "Tick Tock" by the Vaughan brothers. It kills me to think of the potential talent lost, and SRV's whole story is just so tragic. But i can't think of a second one that really makes me cry. plenty make me a little sad - but not really cry-inducing. Eventually, it'll probably be an Uncle Tupelo song.

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
Huh. Husker Du - "flip your wig"
Prince "darling nikki" (no brainer, eh?)
and uh, let's call it "Ashtray Monument" by Jawbreaker, though most any song of theirs makes me, uhm, revved up.


4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
"heavy metal drummer" by wilco
"calendar" by 7seconds
"my life" by this side up
"indictment" by jawbreaker

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without
"Jesus, etc" by wilco
"new wind" by 7 seconds
"frogger" bad religion
"spitfire" spinanes
and "busy" by jawbreaker

Almost a week behind, but bored to pieces, so here goes the Five.

1. What was the last TV show you watched?
Sadly, it was this morning's news locally. as per usual, it sucked. but i like most people only watch it for incorrect weather predictions...

2. What was the last thing you complained about?
The bitch who lives upstairs and how i don't think i should have to pay half the utilities for 1/3 the use of them. Luckily, i said it to my landlord, and he said to go ahead and pay a third of the utilities. woohoo!

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
Gosh, i think i just did that to my coworker - i told him he was our favorite member of that specific department (because to me, he is).

4. What was the last thing you threw away?
Huh, i took out the recycling this morning. but the last thing i put in the garbage can here at work was of course, paper.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
Wilcomovie.com

is it just me, or are there some constants in my celebrity choices lately?
maybe i just don't watch enough damn tv.

seriously, i'm really close to actually getting back into writing on a regular basis. i gave my music notice last night. finally. on to better things, i hope.

(didn't get this finished last week...)

Ok. Still not sure what's in my heart, other than a big black mass of goo right now. As far as the band goes - it looks like the destruction (like the creation) is all in my hands - again. I know the smart thing to do is to cut my losses and bail on this - i don't have the cash to engage in this sort of half-hearted bullshit. so i dunno what to do. i hate that everything has to come down to money, and it grates on me that i was, ever so briefly, out of major debt - i had it in control. and now i don't. and it's a drag. but anyway, on to some nice diversionary turf: Friday!:
1. Who is your favorite celebrity?
Golly. My gut says John McEnroe, but i think that's a throwback reaction. I like to keep tabs of Kevin Smith, though lately i've been indulging in sucking up a lot of wilco/jeff tweedy information. it'll pass. celebs. hmm........so many to choose from: ooooh! Mick and Keef!! I love them!
2. Who is your least favorite?
Bah, any "supermodel".

3. Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life?
Quite a few, actually. Jamie Lee Curtis has an insane burly handshake. Billy Idol is Elvis and i know so after being ejected from his hospitality suite. Uhm...yeah.

4. Would you want to be famous? Why or why not?
Well, sure. Though i'd like to be famous for doing something cool, like creating a song or a work of art or a political action. Not for marrying someone or being in the right place at the right time. I'd like to have access to more things, and not spend as much time doing tedious job things.

5. If you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why
Ah, sure. Green Day. Or let's go big guns and say Lisa Marie Presley. I mean, if you're gonna try it out, you might as well try it full on.

Agh.
I fear my heart isn't in the band - again. I just don't feel like i'm doing what i'm supposed to do. i feel like i'm swimming upstream. i am good at writing and photography, and yet i insist on playing music, which i'm a hack at.
What to do. Especially since i've invited Lia and Carlene on board. Hrm. Maybe i can just drop out gracefully.
Lately, i'd just like to be able to crawl up into a ball and be alone.Seriously. Not just feel alone, but be.
Right. So the Five are kinda interesting today:
1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
The first band I ever saw was Modo Vita at a rollerrink somewhere on the Eastside (I think). Then some stuff at Bumbershoot. My first big-arena RAWK show was a crazy bill at the Kingdome: Joan Jett, Loverboy, Blue Oyster Cult and Foreigner. I cannot tell a lie: I was there to see Loverboy. It was wonderful in all the classic ways: a joint being passed through the crowd, godzilla coming out of the stage when BOC played "Godzilla" Foreigner and their hair...good stuff. Joan rocked, but i wasn't hip enough to appreciate it, much less her.

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
Currently gigging: Juno
Alltime favorite: Gits, 7Seconds, Jawbreaker

3. What's your favorite song?
Heh. so very many to choose from...but i think it's probably "The Inside". 7Seconds, from New wind.

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
Heh. Bass. No, kidding. Drums.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
I think i might like to hang out with Mick & Keith. Or Ringo. No, no, .....ELVIS! I mean for crying out loud, if yer gonna hang out with an icon....go for broke, yeah?

"Freedom's taste is unquenchable."
Please, please let that be a(nother) presidential misquote. What a butcher of the English language. You have to really suck to make me miss Clinton in office, that's all i've got to say.
Also: well of course the Kurds are happy. Jeez. I have begun to read the Atlantic Monthly and the Nation (both I haven't red since college) - just because I have to hear some sort of logical discussion of world affairs - you just can't get that on broadcast news these days.
"It appears" Hussian's regime has fallen. Well, for now. But someone's gonna make a power grab once the dust settles. and meanwhile how do Bahgdad's people get water and electricity turned back on?

Woohoo, it's Friday..
Apologies to anyone who might be reading this that it has become a friday five update section. i promise, a real "insert clever phrase"-worthy style will return soon. soon

1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
Only counting the ones i can really remember (none of that "apartment when i was a baby" stuff): 12. Three apartments; 9 houses (4 of those being of the group variety, 3 being homes with my family, one house with husband ((though it's a duplex, so it's only 1/2 a house really)) and one tiny house all by myself with Scraps. Ah, those were the days....)

2. Which was your favorite and why?
Well, sure, the little one i was alone in for pure life-purposes. But coolest house as far as the structure goes: the house we lived in in leona valley. It was on 5 acres of land, and the house itself had a living room with adobe walls, a kitchen with a pot-bellied stove, and my room had these wonderful built-in shelves, a glass door with an old-school key/lock, and it had a door to the outside via the laundry room! Oh yeah, and it had a great old bathtub with feet, and the living room had an enormous picture window in the living room that overlooked our whole front orchard and a good chunk of the valley. The living room also featured 18" thick adobe walls (really!) and paniment stone from death valley, and a ceiling made from huge pine poles. My father used to have a whole speil he'd give to visitors. I wished I'd taped it or written it down...we used to give him such a hard time about "The Tour".

3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
It goes both ways for me. Mostly though, I like it, as I like beginnings. Some situations that precede the moves (especially from group houses) are usually a bit stressful, but generally I don't stress over it. It's a pain to actually DO the packing and shit, but I overall like it because i always seem to have friends that want to help, and then it means we end up spending a couple of days hanging out (so i can pay them in food and beverages), so it's usually ok overall. But some moves suck, but it's usually because the move is required, or forced in some way (or you're escaping some heinous situation).

4. What's more important, location or price?
Well - price is pretty important, but location is usually what rules my final decision, if Ive got enough money to allow it.
So yeah, price ultimately.
And if they take dogs.

5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
Gun turrets.
Nah. It's got lots of room around it (garden-ish), a large porch, fireplace, french doors connected to my bedroom (don't care if they go to the hall or the deck, but somewhere, and a big kitchen with wide counters and light. Yeah. Oh, and a bathroom with the spiffy toilets, and one of those hip granite shower/japanese soaking tubs.
Oh, and a laundry room with sharp euro style washer and dryer.

Another Friday.
1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?
The emergency pet clinic telling me that they wouldn't be able to give me & Scraps the care that we deserve right then.

2. What one person touched your life this week?
Rodney calling up out of the blue after about 6 mos. of silence.

3. How have you helped someone this week?
Well, that's always a tough call now isn't it? I helped my mom just feel better. Since my dad died 8 years ago, sometimes she had some serious blue periods and needs some cheerleading. And i helped her take care of her horses and stuff - so that's always good. Took the dog to the vet - i'm sure that helped her, but i should have done it sooner. And everyday i help people make their reprographic dreams come true (cough, cough).

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
Must get taxes done. Must.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
i'm going to continue to practice non-attachement/patience because i believe that good will reproduces exponentially.

Yikes, another week almost gone by, and me with so much to say, and no one really, to say it to.
Recently, the band project took an uplifting twist and now we're not gonna be a cover band anymore, and to that i say hurrah!
"Bowling for Columbine" won an Oscar, and Michael Moore did exactly as I expected. Could have been a bit more graceful, but the sentiment is appreciated. Anything less, and I would have been quick to call him a hypocrite. Because for someone like him, if he had taken that stage and not said anything, it would have gone against everything he's ever put on film or on paper. So, while I thought he was on the eloquence tip - what with talking about being filmakers who deal with reality, etc, and the regime in the White House not dealing with the rest of the world in a way that would indicate they have any sort of clue about reality, he devolved into a wimpy (in my opinion) "Shame on You" - i thought that choice of phrasing was lame, but at least he took the moment to voice his dissent.
And that, if anyone out there is reading this, is what the USA is all about. You can snivel all you want, but if you truly value your freedom then you sure as hell better excercise it. I'm sick of listening to people who don't even know the names of their state senator (not US congressman/woman, your STATE legislator, the person who really and truly can make things better or worse for you today...) tell me we should "back the president" back him? Back him into a corner and squash him like a bug before he gets us into so much trouble that there WILL be more attacks on our soil.
Today, a coworker who is intelligent, but definitely conservative, told me that ultimately he believes that this President and his minions are really trying to send a message to the rest of the world that goes something like this:
"Look, quit coming here looking for democracy and wealth. Go back to your own country and create your own democracy and wealth. If you don't create some democracy and wealth soon, then we're going to have to FORCE you to do that. For your own good. No, really, for your own good."
I shared my belief that I honestly do not feel that the United States of America was founded on that belief. We are where you come if you want democracy. No one ever said we were supposed to impose that belief on others. That's the point: those who want to live in a free, somewhat open market-representational democracy, you come here. The rest of you, go somewhere else. Life isn't fair, we can't make everyone happy and free, and they certainly aren't looking to make us happy or more successful.
Yes, yes, i know, plenty of other countries put limits on immigration - but see, that's why we're America dammit. We are different. Aren't we? Aren't we?
I was asked what i thought we should "do" about Iraq instead of invade. Well, at this point, i don't really see as there's much point in doing anything. We've spit in the water - there's no take backs. We put sanctions on a country that can't feed itself. We turned a population that worshiped us in Serbia completely against us by using sanctions incorrectly (correct use: South Africa) - so the only option I see, is to allow Iraquis who want to leave Iraq to come here - much as we did Iranians in the '70s. Of course, it'd be nice if we let more than just the richest of the population come. Do I worry about overloading social sevices? Not really - because here's the thing: to create change, you must take a diffinitive action. How about American companies willing to set up shop in Iraq get tax breaks or bennies like those who work with China do? China doesn't treat their people well. Ultimately, it's a not doing anything sort of action, but you have to respect that Iraq, and Baghdad is one of the oldest nations on earth.

Still in a funk, but the Friday Five are kinda interesting this week:
1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be?
Emma Goldman is the first person that comes to mind, though followed by Leonardo Da Vinci. you know, the more I think about it, the more I'd like to meet some distant relative of mine: someone, say 5 generations back (hopefully either just arrived in America, or about to arrive) and on my Dad's side, since i know so little about my background. Yeah. That's it. That's my final answer. I'd settle for even my maternal grandfather's dad, as rumour has it he was pretty wild too...

2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?
Well - turn of the century here in America would've been tough, but intense. So yeah, mid-late 1800's

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?
Slovenia. Pretty much anywhere, but for the sake of clarity, let's say Sezna.
Would also settle for cabin in central Alaska, or small town in south western France.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?
I'd like to be the person who brings about world peace. No, seriously.

5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?
This'll seem weird, but you know, I'd kinda dig looking like Angelina Jolie.

i feel compelled to point out that as far as i know, when the USA has invaded any nation, promising to rebuild it and make it a "democracy" what it does in reality is blow countries wide open, install new non-elected leaders, dump some leftover foodpackets, and leave. Then, as we did all over Africa and Central America, we wait 10 or 15 years, declare that the countries have "failed" at "democracy" and again, go in, rape, pillage and steal (from an economic perspective) and start the routine again. I challenge someone (anyone) to point out one instance in which we have invaded a third-world country to oust an "evil" dictator and then helped the country back onto it's feet. Legitimately. Legitimate meaning that we provided food, shelter and medical assistance, education, books and person power to help people learn to govern themselve. Somalia. Guatemala. Nicaragua. El Slavador. Mozambique. Indonesia. Afghanistan. Pick one. Any one.

"Do not destroy oil rigs..."
What? Does anyone still doubt that this is all about money? About oil? About the Bush/Cheney investment portfolio?
Why is it Americans will riot in the streets when their professional sports teams lose (or win) but the leader of the United States of America essentially tells the rest of the world to fuck off and get out of our sandbox if yer not gonna be on our team, and no one does anything? What is wrong with us? When i think about going out and taking some sort of action, it all seems so ineffectual. Last night i was overwhelmed with a feeling of just not being part of this culture. It's not a new feeling, but now, more than ever, I am disgusted by this country and it's unwillingness to be a member of the global community.
Dubya=Nero, baby. Burn, burn, fiddle, burn.

At the risk of stating the obvious: Dubya is a lying sack of rocks. Is anyone suprised that as the deadline for compliance looms, the rules for Saddam-bob (a small homage to my old pals in Mr Ureling's history class. though none of us are still pals ((in practice. perhaps in theory, but who knows. i'm not paying classmates jack to find out if Derek and Brad and Greg want to exchange emails 20 years down the road)) ) change to: "Get out of the country." Sure, initially it was all about getting rid of his weapons of mass destruction, but in the end, it turns out it is a battle of wills, and Dubya wants to avenge Daddy. Or Daddy wants to. Whatever. There was a link to a funny list of new items Saddam would have to do to avoid war. If i can scrounge it up, i'll post it...

TheFive for now, more later, hopefully.

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not?
I really, really dislike talking on the phone. Always have. Dunno why, except that i have this constant feeling I'm not being clear enough, and also that i'm somehow wasting time.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Julie the Drummer.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home?
One plugged in, and two in a box.

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened?
Well, SMRHE does have a tendancy to chew loudly (gum, sandwich, whatever) while on the phone which i think is bad form. Generally, that's the big one forme - someone eating. Work-wise, speakerphone users really, really suck, especially when you know it's someone sitting at a desk. Production workers, that's one thing (sometimes, you gotta keep mousing while ya talk, or hitting the green button) but managers who use speaker phones are lame. I tend to ask people to pick up on the pretense of not being able to hear them well enough.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not?
Oh, I would much rather write a letter. I've settled lately for emails, but that seems weak too. I call my mom the most, even though i know she likes to get letters too, but i also know she enjoys hearing my voice. so, y'know, i make compromises. back in the day, i was a letter-writing machine. lately, not so much. which bothers me like a mild toothache.

today i simply want to run away from home.
i need to decide what i really want to do. Being in a cover band isn't it. I miss writing, photography and stuff. Seems there's no time left anymore.

So I uncharacteristically posted at the old website on Sunday because I suspect someone (I'm not wholly sure of their identity yet, though I have my suspicions) was waiting for me to write up a little bit about the movie screening on Saturday night, and I know no one comes here. It was a preview of a documentary about The Gits. SMRHE and I attended, though as always I had mixed (really mixed) emotions about the whole thing. It's hard for me because I really, honestly loved the band so much. Rarely does a band make me feel the way the Gits did - i even mentioned that to Juno's singer in an email once when i was explaining how inspiring they were to me lately, that short of the Gits, rarely does a band make me want to pick up my guitar, or pen, or camera and create. On top of that, the Gits always left me feeling happy and tired, like all good punk rock did.
Beyond all that, there was a personal connection that was obliterated, by me not behaving (i guess) according to accepted protocol. And I got cut out of the loop. Whatever - I'm not bitter, though i have often said that i think often their attitudes in circling the wagons was a little misguided. But whatever. I went to the film knowing that all the major players would be there and they would most likely ignore me like they have for the last 5 or 6 years when I have run into any of them in public situations (shows, or even the Seafish Lville release). So I was wholly unprepared for Steve saying hi. I was also unprepared for the look of consternation. Had things gone differently, or had i (i suppose) been more forgiving maybe i would have stepped up to him and engaged him in a conversation - but what was there to say? Nothing. So, he asked how i was, and i he. pause. for lack of anything better to say, i said i was excited, and he replied that it would be weird.
and so it was. i'm not gonna go into any more detail about the people i saw and didn't talk to, but it was a very strange feeling to be amongst what i can only describe as ghosts.
aside from all that, the movie (or what we saw of it) was wonderful, and did a fine job of capturing a lot of how it felt to have the Gits in your life. I got choked up a couple of times, laughed several times (the German is still unavoidably logical and hilarious all at the same time), and after listening to the Q&A after, I was also feeling good about the remaining members and how the film would progress.
In my other post, I went on about how much the Gits represented a certain community of punk rock - a community I very much miss. I think that's one of the most important reasons to tell their story (aside from their pheonomenal talent) as well. Not enough gets said about the foundation of this "alternative" scene, so it's nice to see it recognized, even if it has to come about through a tragedy.

Yeah, so the first practice was a little wake-up call...man, i hate practicing like nothing else. And i have this weird, ingrained aversion to learning covers. Great, eh? Yeah, that'll help, now that i've agreed to do this cover-band thing. Ah well. Last night, J cancelled practice, and while i could have gonedown to the space and played with D, I bailed and enjoyed a quiet (ooh, big switch) night at home.
Right. Which brings us to the Five:
1. What was the last song you heard?
Sadly, it was Joan Jett, "victim of circumstance" the song we were practicing. I played a bit of Jawbreaker this morning on guitar (Ashtray Monument) but that doesn't count...

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
In the theater? LOTR-TTT, and uhm, hell - Spiderman, or Men In Black 2. We don't go see movies much. At home, we rented the new Kevin Smith dvd - it's a compilations of the presentations he's given on college campuses recently. Funny, funny guy, and I have to admit to having a small crush on Silent Bob/Kev. I like his style. Heh. Uh, we also rented "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" - frigging Jack, man. also, Road to Perdition, which was certainly one of Hank's better performances, though he slipped into nice guy mode a couple of times.

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Ooh. Bus pass. Smokes for SMRHE, and food for dinner. Yeah, living on the edge.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
1. band practice of some form
2. Home Depot run for plumbing supplies/wheels for amp
3. Groceries/toilet paper
4. Call mom.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Real conversations, not email/work crap:
SMRHE, Karen, Rory, Julie, Debra.

Tonight will be the first official practice of Jett_house. I'm already feeling like i want to bail - but sort of like forcing myself to go to a show alone just to make sure that i was right and that it's going to suck, i feel like i have to at least give it a shot. so i'll go. but my heart's not really in it. i feel like i like my evenings the way they are, and i don't know if i want to pursue something, especially music-wise that doesn't include SMRHE. Yeah. That's a big part of it - because i know i won't see much of him if i do this. but maybe that's a good thing. maybe we see too much of each other? something like that. we'll see how it goes tonight. it was weird going by M's the other evening - some things never change, and he, unfortunately is one of them. in small doses though, it's ok. i guess. yeowch.

oh yeah, the Five:
1. What is your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.)?
Ooh, i've always been a big fan of the periodical, specifically fanzines. I'm a memoir junkie as well.

2. What is your favorite novel?
Funny, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and there are so very many that I have enjoyed - but I guess, ultimately, I'd have to go with...gee..I'm still not sure I can call it in the air...i feel a sudden need to look at my bookshelf again before deciding.

3. Do you have a favorite poem? (Share it!)
I have a favorite poet: Sherman Alexie, and anything out of his book "Like Water Flowing Home" rocks my world.

4. What is one thing you've always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?
Ah, why War & Peace (or any Tolstoy, really). But also "100 Years of Solitude" which I'm actually going to tackle shortly.

5. What are you currently reading?
Whew, this would have been really embarrassing yesterday. But today it's only slightly lame: I'm reading "Good in Bed" by jennifer weiner, and also "a cometbus omnibus".

Huh, I just realized that my big plan was to journal the books that i've been reading, and once again, i haven't done it...ah well.